The stories behind Don't Kick the Gurney, Bubba

• Acoustic Twang and Fast Banjo Picking on the Hallway Derby — Take B accelerates into an acoustic bluegrass workout, driven by frantic banjo rolls and deadpan comedic timing.
• When Floor Buffer Derbies Collide With Clinical Reality — Take A turns an all-too-familiar hallway demolition incident into a comedic bluegrass breakdown on equipment abuse.

Lyrics

Well, now work order says, machine spontaneously

combusted.

Let me take a look at this crime scene.

Well, I drove my beat -up dually up to

Holler Branch Care Where the head nurse was standing with her hands in the air

She said, Billy, this machine has got an evil voodoo curse.

The screen smashed to pieces and the caster wheels is worse.

Nobody touched it it was sitting in the hall when all of a sudden it

attacked the drywall i said hold on sister before you drop a tear

let's see what the security camera saw this year i pulled up the

footage on the monitor screen and saw the funniest damn race that i ever have

seen bubba on the floor buffer earl on the cart trying to run a

demolition derby From the start

Don't kick the gurney, bubba

Don't ram the wall

Don't lie to the biomed

Who answers the call

We can smell a wreck from fifty yards away

Tire marks and floor wax don't magically stray

You raged down the hallway with a beer -bellied grin

Now you're asking Uncle

Sam to pay for the chin

Yee -haw, pay the toll

Put a big dent in your payroll roll

Bubba looked down at his dirty work boots

Face turning redder than a patch of beech roots

He said, Billy, we was only trying to see who had the speed I said, well, $40 ,000

is the lesson that you need

Now you're working off the deductible weed

Eating my lawn from the rising of the sun

Till the twilight is gone

And next time you want to play

NASCAR in the ICU

Use a mop bucket, boy

Don't kick the gurney, bubba

Don't ram the wall

Don't lie to the biomed who answers the call

We can smell the wreck from fifty yards away

Tire marks and floor wax don't magically stray

You race down the hallway with a beer -bellied grin

Now you're asking Uncle

Sam to pay for the gin

Yee -haw, pay the toll

Put a big dent in your payroll roll

Ticket status, Bubba's fault

Sign here, racer boy